Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won’t even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what i can’t handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn’t crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can’t listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don’t know if you meant everything that was said to me, and I am hoping that you didn’t. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, I can’t imagine my days without you.
It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn’t reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and i hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because i am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened. I am so sorry.
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth,
Thank you for your concern. I’ll be sure to file it away under “L” for “Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn’t care less about”. You did a stupid thing huh? No…doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is a “stupid thing”, Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you’re taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn’t as much a “Stupid thing” as it grounds for permamanent removal from my social calendar.
To be honest, I’m not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying, “Well I didn’t F**k him” somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn’t care less if the world “looked funny” to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I’m sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else’s feelings for 24 hours staright.
The good news for you is that my friends don’t think you are aterrible person, they just think you’re the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector.
By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
P.S. I forwarded this email to about a 100 people.
Talk to you never,
Brad
What you read above is an old letter that has been going around the internet I think since 2005. All the men love this response and give Brad or Tom or whoever wrote it originally a big thumbs up sign. Prooves my point, quality men will never take a floozy seriously. Hey I’m not a square – I love men and sex. But get caught in a bathroom blowing any old Dick? No way, Hose.
Best to find out what men want. Oooh I can hear you thinking no, no, no I want to be me and if a man don’t like it well then he can get lost. Of course you want to be you, I’d hate to be any body else except me, besides everyone else is already taken. But making the absolute most of me is what I love doing. And you I hope are doing that as well.
Why not get Emily McKay’s Attraction Make Over? There’s tons of information inside there. This isn’t wishy washy stuff telling you to shut up and behave like a woman that has no mind of her own. In fact Emily is a woman like me, we have an opinion. But what I totally love about Emily’s Attraction Make over is a real live recording of men talking about what men like in a woman. This is like fly on the wall stuff. You have to hear it, because it’s actually not what you may think men like. Plus when you get it there’s a special bonus from me called, Men Reveal their Intimate Secrets which will automatically be sent to you. Attraction Makeover.
By the way you have gotten WINNING LOVE yet, haven’t you? It’s up at the top right hand side – sign up to my news letter and you’ll get it for free.
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