I noticed to my dismay when checking my web stats that a few people land up on this blog because they want to know how to seduce a married man.
Seducing a married man is the same as seducing any man but why the hell would you want to knowingly seduce a married man? Unless of course you enjoy suffering cos ultimately you will feel pain.
It may appear exciting and even convenient in the beginning. A juicy relationship without the committment. You never have to wash his shirts, pick up his socks or comfort him.
Eventually you’ll feel pissed off about him being married.
You’ll be wondering if he’s sleeping with his wife when he’s not with you. Christmas and other holidays will feel lonely.
I’ve never seen a happy outcome. I have women and men friends that have got them selves into a mess by being involved with some one else. The men i know who have been involved have all confessed to me when the “other woman” starts nagging about his other life they feel more compelled to end the affair, rather than leave the wife.
Seducing a married man is no different to seducing any man. I wrote the Seduction Diva’s Cheat Sheet which is an easy way of seducing a man. But beware because seduction doesn’t mean you’ll be winning his love.
All too often women are upset that the man they’re having sex with isn’t really giving them what they really desire – love, respect, devotion and honesty.
Before you go seducing the married man remember that he has officially devoted him self to another woman and you will be his secret liason.
I do believe married men are unhappy with their wives or they wouldn’t be seducable in the first place. Even so he is still officially married to his wife – he has to deal with his own feelings of guilt.
In my opinion it’s best to save your seduction power for available men.
I find it sad that women would go so far as to ask how to seduce a married man, although I am fully aware that some women ‘get off’ on the power trip of messing with another woman’s man. So sad.
I also don’t believe that all men/women who cheat are unhappy with their wives, but rather unhappy with themselves, and unable to find their own happiness and fulfillment within themselves, and feel the need to attempt to achieve that through others. Both parties are cheaters, liars and thieves, and if that’s what these people want for themselves, again, I find it so sad, and I can only feel pity and contempt for those types of toxic people. Judgment I know, but none the less, how I feel.
I clicked on the link to this article because I asked myself “why would you want to?”…seduce a married man? I just had to find out what you had to say about the matter. I’m happy to have discovered that you discourage such behavior.
searchingwithin,
I don’t believe women intentionally want to go on a power trip to mess with another womans man. I think they have just fallen in love with a man who is not available to them.
The reason they are looking for information on how to seduce a married man is because they want him to fall in love with them. (That’s the reason most women want to seduce any man – because at the end of the day they are looking for a partner that will love and cherish them).
Seriously i have been the other woman before – it was never my intention to ruin another womans life. I broke the relationship off.
In many cases the man does have feelings for the woman he is having an affair with but he is torn with feelings of guilt because he knows he is cheating on his wife.
Relationships based on guilt, pity and shame are never a good thing wether married or not.
Anyway I don’t recommend having a fling with a married man.
There are marriages which are completely open – ie. each partner is free to have sex with other partners without feelings of resentment. Both partners need to be able to handle this kind of agreement. The wife may be happy with it – but the other woamn may not be happy with it.
I fell in love with a married man, at the time i didnt know he was…then i was so lonely after a bad marrage and divorce myself, i got so attached so fast…i backed off and then…things just picked up and started getting close…i fell head over heels and he said he did too…he said he loved and and everything he said was so real,..he said he cared as much about me as I do him..
fir a month we got so close,..after being away from her…he ended going back home, said he would sleep on the couch nothing would happen….says he hates her..
when he came back he said he had sex with her….it was just sex and he LOVES ME….i love him so much but i am so tired of being treated like this…do you think its possable for him to love and want to be with me, and just make as he called it a MISTAKE?
Seriously I’ve been involved with a married man myself and I know the pain you’re feeling. Infact I wrote a post about it here: http://www.howtoseduceaman.net/2009/02/confessions-from-the-other-woman/
In my opinion you should forget him – if he really wants to be with you he will leave his wife. Evrything else is just an excuse to have his wife and you. It’s up to you to not put up with this behaviour.
When you refuse to see him he will either decide he can’t live without you or he won’t contact you.
There is no way you can be happily in love with amarried man.
When it comes to falling for a married man, you have to ultimately surrender to the fact that if he isn’t finding a way to leave his wife. Now, not a year from now. Not, “when the time is right”. If his marriage was that tragic, he would have found a way out before using someone as an excuse. When dating a married man, you are only getting scraps of his attention and time.
You should find someone who is willing to give you the devotion and effort you derserve. You’re worth it
I just read this. I am six weeks, today, into finding out that my husband was seduced 9 years ago. It produced a child. It is devastating to hear, he wasn’t happy. He didn’t act that way. If we were having trouble it was because of his porn use and my offence to it. Anyway. I am hurt now. I may divorce him from reading this article. Maybe then he can be happy.
Hello Paula,
I know of another a case where the man had an affair with another woman, which produced a child. It happened in my own family but now that was many years ago and the man is still with his orginal wife – my mom and dad!
If you find divorce is the only way to reconcile yourself with what happened then do it. Even though your husband had an affair and has porn issues you may still be able to get together with him. What ever you do just remember that bitterness and anger does not resolve any issues.
Thank you for reading my website.
I met this guy just over a month ago at a conference, we hit it off straight away it was an instant connection and physical attraction.
A group of us from out of town were all staying at a hotel for the 10 nights the conference was on, on the 8th night all of the group came to my room including this man to have a few drinks one by one everyone started to leave, just before he was about to leave he got onto the bed and kissed me goodnight on the lips, I was shocked at first because I knew he was married but the attraction I felf for him was so strong I kissed him back, one thing led to another and he left my room at 230 in the morning, however we did not have intercourse. The next day we both chatted like nothing had happened until we were alone and we discussed how much we both enjoyed it. I have seen him once since the confrence finished as we live in the same city and this was only for coffee , he told me he had thought of me after the confrence and it was strange being at home with his wife, we had exchanged mobile numbers and I find myself texting him things like, “how’s your week going” he replies sometimes, I’m starting to feel that I want to suggest we see each other again, I know this is a horrible thing to do as I don’t want to be the other woman I just want to be his woman, I wonder to myself if he was so happy at home would he have done what he did with me?
Hi,
I understand where you’re coming from – I’ve been there. And let’s face it just because a man is married does not mean that he is not attractive. The thing is though he is officially married to another woman. Can you deal with that thought? You also say you are texting him and that some times he replies. Maybe he is realising what he is getting himself into that is why he does not always reply. Give him a gap and leave all the contacting up to him. Anyway there are thousands of eligible men around so you don’t need to hang about and wait for him!
Hello there.
I have been reading what you’ve all been saying, and it actually made me cry. I’m completely caught up with some guy and I just found out that he’s been married for 20 years. He says that he loves me, and I love him, but he also says that he’s not going to leave his wife for me – he can’t do that to the children. I get the feeling that he’s done this before and, if I start demanding that he leaves her, he’ll just drop me. I don’t think I could cope if that happened.
What can I do?
Dear Jessi,
If I was you I wouldn’t make any ultimatums that never works. But I would stop hanging onto this guy and start going out with other people. Really there are so many available and attractive men out there!
Just think maybe one day you want children which will obviously not happen whilst you are with him. Well it could but the outcome would not be the one you would want.
You are worth a open relationship.
I have a stupid question, I guess. I am about to get involved with a non-married but in a long-term relationship man. He initiated it – he had replied to an ad i posted about wanting other spouses of people with mental illness to kvetch with. He told me he decided he needed “something for himself” to keep himself sane as he was too deeply entrenched in his relationship to leave even though he “knows it’s doomed”. His gf has asked him to marry her several times and he’s said no because he says marriage is important to him and he knows it wouldn’t work with her.
after a few weeks of intense attention and pillow talk, i broke down and agreed to have an affair with him. see, my partner is almost catatonic and we haven’t had a sexual relationship for over a year. he arranged for us to meet at a very romantic location, was a total gentleman, and we made out for an hour. i saw him again and had the same experience, except this time, as soon as we met he took my hands in and put me on his lap and started nuzzling me – not sexual stuff, initmacy stuff. we messed around some more and he asked if the next time we saw each other we could be initmate.
the thing is…we have a lot in common and there are a lot of strange coincidences (we knew each other over a decade ago, and remembered each other, and yet we meet anaonymously on CL in a huge city – stuff like that.) Part of me wants to make this into a relationship, I admit. It’s only been a month, but I am definitely infatuated.
The thing is…I am so goddamn naive. I have no idea if this is just sex for him, or if I have a chance at getting into his heart. And part of me knows that when you sleep with a guy, he makes judgments about you and if you do it too early it puts you into the “ho” category. Yet…after our second “date” he was telling me “if this doesn’t work out” he wants to openly introduce me to his mother and have me up for Chrsitmases. I have lousy christmases as my family is dead.
Am I reading too much into this? he remembers when my exams are, is careful to let me know when he will be away or unable to answer me, and when i told him a while ago i needed a schedule of some kind as it wasn’t worth it to get his table scraps, he begged me not to break it off and said he would do anything i suggested.
please help me. i honestly don’t want to risk having my heart broken again. my current bf has hurt me so much even though i know he’s sick and can’t always help it it doesn’t make the pain any less. i really think this guy and i have enough in common to have a shoit at something more, but i have no idea how to make that clear without scaring him off..and the next time we meet i have to decide if i will sleep with him, and i am afraid that if i say yes it will be the end of my chances (if they exist) at more.
Funny how these long term live together relationships are like being married except of course you don’t have the document to proove it.
All I can say from my point of view is that I couldn’t deal with a dysfunctional relationship – I would break it off. And then I couldn’t deal with having sneaky affair either. When i was involved with a married man i was single – it was his problem how he was explaining his absence to his wife.
Now that I’m in a long term relationship – playing house together I would not be able to handle a lover on the side. But then again my relationship is not dysfunctional. If it was I know I would end it.
There are how ever couples who decide to have totally open relationships which means each partner is free to have sex with another when ever they want.
Should you find your self falling in love with this other guy, it will be hard coming home to your current partner. Your heart will be some where else.
I have never met a woman (except prostitues) who is able to have sex just for sex. They always land up getting emotionally involved. From that point on things get messy.
As I said before if it were me, I’d end the relationship with the bipolar man and then be free to meet a fun and unattached man.
Thanks I guess. That didn’t really answer my questions but I appreciate the time you took to reply and I respect your obvious moral stance on this. I have already made plans to leave my bf but I am stuck here until my lease is up in September. I guess I will just try to keep it together for the next few months until I can be free, but I still wonder if this other person and I could work.
You’re right about women not being able to have sex without getting attached though. I’ve never met a woman who could either.
Hi Jolene,
I don’t know if you and this guy can work out. If he is already playing house with his current girl friend he may not breaak up with her and you will be the other woman.
It’s not even about morals. Frankly I don’t give a damn what relationships people have – I’m not there to point fingures at any one. It’s about you – can you deal with being the other woman? How will you feel when you know he is going back to her after he’s been with you?
I’ve noticed that at the end of the day women want love & adoration. It sucks to be 2nd fiddle!
ive have read all wrhat people had said your reply, i am involved with married man at the moment we have been seeing each other for that past 4mths, at first he told me he will not leave his wife but just few weeks ago he told me he loves me and is planning to leave her after is sons wedding in march.
part of me is sort of happy and part of me isnt im 37 and he 15yrs older than me, my youngest is 2 and his youngest grandchild is 4, i dont really think that he want to leave her because he keeps asking me that when he leaves his wife will i change etc and the fact that he will have to be with a woman that has young children in not sure hes 100% wants to do it because when he comes round now and the kids are home he keeps on about not being able to have sex.
im bit stuck in the middle
Hi Lisa,
Nobody can tell you what to do. But those little things he is revealing about himself like the fear that you may change and that he is not sure about wanting small kids around would set my alarm bells ringing.
If this were happening to me I would break it off. If he really is interested he’ll contact you after he is divorced.
Seriously there are hundreds of available men out there who would only be too happy to take you on with your small kids,they may even have their own small kids.
In my opinion relationships that cause pain and suffering are not necessary. One can have happy relationships.
Sorry I think I made a mistake to pose and please read this one.
I am a 24 years old woman who is still studying in graduated school. I have been dating over 1 half years with a married man who has opan-relationship. At beginnig I was dating with him because I was pretty curious about his relationship and I had opan-mind to this, also because I was a foriegn student in North American and I was lonly. After we dated for a few months, I found I found I was falling love with him and even felt I couldn’t live without him. I didn’t want breakup with his marrige and didn’t want to hurt his wife. I hanged out with his wife for 2 or 3 times and we got along pretty well. But unfortunatly even I liked his wife, I couldn’t stop to jealous her and felf awfully misery. I got badly sleep disorder and couldn’t keep myslf calm when I was in my apartment by myself.
After few months suffering, I decided I need to move on so I applied a 5 months exchange to a German university and tried to forget this guy. In the time of in Germany, I tried to think about positive things and made new friends, I indeed got my happy time in Germany. But after I came back, the same thing came again. The guy called me and Emailed and then I met him again. I hate what was happened because I slept with him after we met. Then the misery came back. I tried to date with another guy, a very honest and good-looking guy. I hope I could stop the relationship with the married guy from dating with another one, but then I failed. I cheated on the guy who was really loving me and still slept with the married guy. I could’t forgive myself, so eventually I told the guy and then broke up with him.
Now I am still dating with the guy who has opan-relationship and 2 weeks ago he told he is planning to have baby with his wife in this year. I told him I should break up with him because I couldn’t date with a kid’s father, that makes me feel guilty. But he told me that he dosen’t want to lose me and I am very important to him. He said he think he can handdle our relationship well even he will have kid. Also, he told me if it was really my choice to break up with him and I will feel happy,then he will respect my decision even he will need long-time to heal the hurt that I leave him. For few days struggle, I said I hope I could be friends with him. But after we met, we slept with each other again. He mentioned that he had the best sex with me in his exprience with other of his dates before and he said he almost has not sex with his wife, just once a month. he said I am amazing and make him extremely happy.
For my part, my sleep disoder continue after I come back from Germany and it becomes worser, I began to have nightmare and sometimes crying in my dream. I always told myself to be a strong woman and I need to move on. But if few days I couldn’t meet him, I would crazyly miss him and couldn’t control myself. I am an attractive woman to guys and always have guys in my class asked me to hang out and was interested in me. I don’t know why I pushed myself to such misery and hateful situation. Please help me and give me some suggestion because I know if it last long,I will suffer more serious spychology problem!
Sincerely hope to get your advise!
Dear Vivian,
I know how it feels to be addicted to a man especially if the sex is good. And I’ve also been involved with a married man before. Honestly most of the time was not fun because I knew he belonged to some one else.
I’m not in a position to tell you what to do – I can only say what I would do.
Considering that this man is planning on having a child with his wife I would definately stop seeing him.
It will take a while to recover from the pain but you will get over it. Believe me there are so many decent available men out there.
Why hang onto a man where you are having more pain than fun?
Your married man will most likely not leave his wife, especially now that they are having a baby. He says he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t want to leave his wife either. Believe me he’s having the best of both worlds and you are having a miserable time. I would stop seeing him immediately, have a night out with my girl friends and concentrate on getting my life back.
You are young and good looking – you don’t need him!
Thank you for your suggestion. it is a tough period to me and the pain the guy bring to me need long time to heal. There is one thing I was always thinking: he never thought how huge amount of pain he brought to me, I want to know is it possible someday he knows that the misery he bring to me and regret? The thing is, I ever want him to want me again and I know he will never leave his wife and change his life style. I know what I was thinking was kind of silly.
This is a hard one..
I had my jaw operated on a few weeks back and the surgeon and I hit off right away. I know he pays extra attention to me and checks me out even when im not looking (my friend saw). Even after the first consultation, he would text and call me to find out if I’m fine. Many a times we would have a drink after the consult, i would catch him looking at my legs, complimenting the way i look and finding excuses to touch my hands..after awhile, he started suggesting we should hang out together. He is a very young and handsome doctor.. I am so attracted to him.
3 weeks later, I found out from his colleague that he is married and i was so crushed !!!
So I went a little bonkers and did some internet stalking. I’ve seen pictures of him with 2 babies on facebook…but none of his wife. Although I found a blog abt his wife writing 6 months into the marriage which is 6 years ago. Im just wondering, throughout all my interactions with him, he has never told me about his relationship status.. Also, I’m too afraid to ask him, because I’m afraid that if he knows I know, he would not give me the same attention as before.
Right now Im enjoying his attention and the sexual tension is dense.
Last night he kept texting all the things he wants to do with me when I meet him for the first time in a non-hospital setting. very sexual things. We haven’t even set a date for the meet, and he’s already thinking about these things. But today, he completely ignored both my text messages! They were very innocent text messages though. I’m at lost.. what is going on..
well, this is not the first time he ignored me. The first time was 2 weeks ago when he asked me to take him out for a movie. Ok i took like half and hour to reply to that one, saying maybe he should book a restaurant instead. But after, he just completely ignored me! we only started talking again because a few days after i was scheduled to see him at his office for a work-up. And then the flirting would start again…And we had drinks in the hospital after the consult.
I’ll be going interstate in a few days time, and i’d be far away until next december. This seems like the perfect opportunity for a fling.. but now i dont know if he wants to do this or not. Also, Im starting to get worried/sad that he didnt reply the whole day.. does this mean im slowly having feelings for him?
In all honesty, I would proper date him if he were single. But right now knowing he is married, I just want to ease that sexual tension between us. But I dont know what he is thinking… and I am worried..would I get emotionally attached? would i get hurt if he doesnt want to see me next december as friends? even if the sex was just for a couple of days only. just before i fly off in a week’s time….
Hmmm besides him being married, I would tell you this even if he was single: let men call you – I know it sounds very old fashioned but if a man has said he’ll call you then leave it up to him. I recommend you read Mini Tanners Calling Men, she explains how men are wired and what they mean when they say something.
In all honesty I would forget this man – it looks like you will always be the one waiting for him. You will get hurt because you will always be the other woman he is secretive about. I have never known a woman who did not get emotionally attached, unless of course she is in the business of selling sexual favors.
Hi
i’m 18 and i love a 36 yrs old married man with 2 kids…:)
i do love him and i do wanna be with him, but i also love his kids and his wife, their so sweet…and i really don’t know what to do, i don’t wanna be such a bitch and also don’t wanna loose him and just forget everything about him…
plz help me, i’m so confused…
Dear Sarah,
Firstly thanks for visiting my website. Secondly you say you are 18 and involved with a man who is 36. Besides him being nearly 20 years older than you, he is also married. You say you don’t want to loose him, but what is he doing to keep you? Nothing.
I know it is easier said than done, but please stop agonizing over this man. He is betraying his wife which is a sign of disloyalty, and at the same time he is betraying you. Just think if he is doing this to her it means he would do it to you to, if you were married to him.
You need to get in tune with yourself. Figure out what makes you happy. Happy women get the happy men. If i were you I would forget about him. It may hurt now but the pain will recede. There are wonderful young available men out there. A good book to read is How To Find the Man of Your Dreams
Hi, I have a simimilar story to the ones posted abvove . I have been knowing this guy for abou two years now the firt time I saw him I knew this was the man of my dreams and that he was the one who was meant to be my husband. We met at work he got me a higher position at the company we both worked at and we got to know eachother for over a year. We had been flirting and my feelings for him got stronger over time. Here is the facts; we are both married I have two girls 4 and 5. He has no kids. His wife and him have been trying to have children since they have been married. He loves children they cannot conceive. So we got entangled in an affair, we moved really fast and started having sex. After the second time being intimate he came inside me and claimed it was an accident. I want to know why he would do that if he says he loves his wife and does not plan on leaving her? Would he be so sick to have a child with the woman on the side and not leave his wife to raise his child? Or could it be that he truly loves me and wants to see if he can have a child with me and that way I could leave my husband and then he would leave his wife and we could start a family together? I did not get pregnant. My husband found out about our affair and he called him and threatened him in many ways. The other man was very upset with me and did not want to speak to me. I tottally understand as it was my fault my husband found out. So i quit my job about a week ago and before I left I told him that I had just realized I was deeply in love with him. He said he wanted to see me again but did not want any drama with my husband. I asked to meet him one time after work and he asked me how were things at home for me and how I was doing. We made out and then he had to go. He has not contacted me ever since (about a week) since we both agreed that I would do the contacting since he does not want any problems with my husband. But I know that when a man loves a woman he will move heaven and earth to be with her. I have been able to keep myself from contacting him since I don’t have to see him everyday and I’m sure it will be easy to stay away. My question is what if we were really soulmates and meant to be together? What if I try this again and I get pregnant this time will we be able to ever be truly happy since he craves to be a father? Me and my husband have managed to make things work and he wants to forgive and forget. But my heart still belongs to the other guy. My love is patient and I know one day we will meet again and we will both be available but I truly believe he is not happy with her and we were meant to be together. Some people just end up with the wrong people and is it so bad that I’m the one who wants to pursue this?
Hello Jennifer;
Thanks for stopping by. Let’s look at the situation – your husband is prepared to forget and forgive which shows he is a good man and must really appreciate you. You have 2 young kids with him.
Would you really want to leave your husband for a man that is married to another woman? What would happen to your kids, would you take them with? How will you explain to them that you are leaving daddy to go and be with another man? If this other man is prepared to leave his wife and commit to you then that changes things. Would this other man love your kids like they were his own? What if after a couple of months you realise it was only hot passion and daily life is unbearable with him? Would it have been worth all the unhappiness it caused the family?
Why doesn’t he want drama with your husband? What about drama with his wife? And just think if he had an affair with you whilst he was married to her – it means he could have an affair with another woman whilst he is with you.
You say he craves to be a father. Has he had his sperm count tested? Often when women don’t conceive it also an issue with the man.
You say your heart is with the other man and some people just end up with the wrong people. The reason they end up with the wrong people is because they don’t think about what they want in a relationship in the first place. They just settle for any relationship, rather than giving it some thought before hand.
I know my reply may seem hard and cruel. If you are unhappy with your husband then leave him, but not because you want to dive into another relationship which may not be the real thing either.
Sincerely
Claudia