Jun 20, 2009

Posted by in Sex Tips | 0 Comments

When Dirty Talk With Your Lover is Over the Top…

loversWhen you’re in the midst of passion, anything can come out of your mouth. If you and your partner are into dirty talk, you might hear fantasies and desires that surprise or even shock you. How do you handle a dirty talk scenario that makes you wildly uncomfortable?

When the passion is over and your mind is clear, think about what was said. Why did it make you so uncomfortable? Did it bring to mind a bad memory? Did it make you wonder what your partner really wanted to be doing in bed at that moment? Did his desires make you feel bad about yourself? Whatever the reason, pinpoint it and write it down. Putting it on paper in black and white will help you work through the details of why you feel the way you do.

Consider how you will bring it up with your lover. If this is something that you feel you need to discuss, plan your approach. Make sure you present your concerns in a loving, non-judgmental way. If you are accusing at all, your partner will likely retreat into a self-conscious shell, and won’t bother telling you any more of those fantasies. That is a breakdown in communication, and that is not good!

Once you’ve chosen a way to approach the subject, do it when you are both relaxed and open to discussion. Don’t attempt to start the talk immediately after you’ve had sex – talk about killing the afterglow! Don’t do it when you are busy with other things, or when stress seems to have taken over your day. Approach your partner at a time when you know he will be open to what you have to say. Allow plenty of time for the discussion.

Keep in mind that your partner might not think anything is bothering you. His dirty talk could well have been completely spur of the moment, and he might not even remember what he said! If it was just something thrown out in the heat of the moment when he was experimenting with a few fantasies, you can chalk it up to nothing more than that and move on. If he admits the scenario he suggested is one that he wants to try, however, you’ve opened the door for discussing it.

Always be loving toward your partner as you discuss those fantasies. Remember that it took a lot of trust to get to this point, and the dirty talk between the two of you is so much hotter for it. You aren’t the only one who has heard things that might be shocking – consider that you might have dropped a few stunners along the way, and your lover has accepted them. Doesn’t he deserve the same consideration from you?

Finally, remember – the hottest dirty talk just might involve things you would never really do if the opportunity arose. Keep it all in perspective, and remember that your partner is the one in bed with you – the one who is focusing all his attention and dirty talk skills on you. You lucky little vixen!

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