People write in, asking me what an open relationship exactly is. It’s exactly that – open.
It means that each partner is free to have sex with some one else openly, no hiding, being devious or cheating. It means that both partners have an greement to be sexually free, even if they are married.
Often these type of relationships take place between married people after being in a relationship for many years. Both agree that they want to live together, share finances, care for the grand kids and generally get old together but have sexual freedom.
Some people think it’s a cool set up but when in practice they can’t deal with the truth of it. Usually one partner is left feeling jealous and insecure, even though they agreed to it. It’s not unusual for one partner to accept the situation because they don’t really want to leave or still love their partner, so they just go along with the arrangement. This can turn out to be hurtful so open relationships are only recommended for couples that can deal with the consequences of it.
Generally though healthy relationships in western society are monogomous. In an open realtionship a woman can feel free to seduce a man and bring him home to the house she is living in with her current partner. Sometimes this even leads to a threesome in the bedroom. Personally I’ve encountered a couple of relationships where this type of freedom was being practised. Seems exciting and open minded but at the end there was resentment and pain and the relationship didn’t survive. Now I’m not saying this is the case all the time.
Some couples realise that they want sexual freedom but have a deep bonding with their partner based on friendship. They both agree to be together and have an open ended relationship.
Is it a good idea to have an open ended relationship? Can’t say, it all depends on the couple.
