A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you f—ing retard!!!!’

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

To be 6 again!

Her Diary
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself – he hardly laughed and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated but followed. I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love – but he still seemed distant and a bit cold. I cried myself to sleep – I think he’s planning to leave me – maybe he’s found someone else.

His Diary
The Jets lost the football. Gutted.
Got laid though.

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

The Diary

This is an email that was sent to me – now please bear in mind I’m a fun woman and I love laughing even if it is at me.

The problem I see with so many women, actually ungenderise that and make it people – we take ourselves far too seriously.

Life is a joy and it is fun – start to just focus on that and things will change. And for my women friends who I keep reminding that there are hundreds of good men out there and the mere fact that you’re a woman is already a attractor factor for the male species. One just needs to look at the naked body of a man and a woman and you can see we were made for each other.

So anyway enjoy this quote of the day:

“Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So…If you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of sh!t.”

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

Whatever You Give a Woman, She’s Going to Multiply.

I received this email today from a friend, not only is it delightful it’s also true.

Nicknames

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

Eating Out

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

Bathrooms

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

• The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

Arguments

• A woman has the last word in any argument.

• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Future

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

• A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

Dressing Up

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the day
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

Men Are Just Happier People

God said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.”

Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?”

God said, “Go down into that valley”.

Adam said, “what’s a valley?”

God explained it to him. Then God said, “cross the river.”"

Adam said, “What’s a river?”

God explained that to him, and then said, “Go over to the hill…”

Adam said, “what is a hill?”

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.”

Adam said, “What’s a cave?”

After God explained, He said, “In the cave you will find a woman.”

Adam said, “What’s a woman?”

So God explained that to him, too.

Then God said, “I want you to reproduce.”

Adam said, “How do I do that?”

God first said (under His breath ,, Geez…”

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So Adam goes down into the valley, across the river and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

Then in about 5 minutes, he was back.

God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, “What is it now?”

And Adam asked….

“What’s a headache?”

Remember Winning Love is yours FREE when you sign up to my news letter.

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Adam

A husband and wife came for councelling after 15 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.??The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.??Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied,..??”Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.”

This is a Monty Python Video titled the marriage councellor. Be warned this is only if you have a sense of british humor.

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On a more serious note if your marriage is in trouble I recommend the Save My Marriage Programme which you can do from the privacy of your own home.
Men and women from all over the globe give up on their marriages every year because they don’t know where to start. They pass all responsibility for their marriage success to their partner or a counselor and end up disappointed with the result. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you knew exactly what YOU can do to help save your marriage, right now, would you do it?

Online host Andrew Rusbatch, along with guest psychologist Richard Wheeler and regular guest Amy Waterman, has all the techniques necessary to enable you to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and re ignite the passion that you both once felt, all within the privacy and comfort of your own home. Save yourself the time and embarrassment of explaining it all to a counselor. Get the answers to your most urgent issues right now! You are the best one to save your marriage. Let me show you how. It may be the best advice you have ever had!

Save my Marriage Course

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The Marriage Counceller

Men are so simple. It’s us women that over complicate things.

Here’s some translations that will help you understand exactly where he is coming from:

“IT’S A GUY THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”

“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: “That girl standing on the corner is a real babe.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”
Translated: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”

“I HEARD YOU.”
Translated: “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me,and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

How to Understand a Man

Apparently high heels are very sexy.

I can’t seem to master how to walk in the darn things. And if I get the walking right, my feet ache in them after at least 20 minutes.

Now there are plenty sexy flat shoes a gal can wear to look good.

Me I hate feeling self conscious – heels don’t give me confidence they make me feel like I’m a cripple.

I find I certainly don’t have a problem flirting with men just because I’m in flat shoes. 

I’ve asked men why they find high heels so attractive and they say it’s not the shoe but the way a womans backside seems to swing when she’s wearing heels.

Also heels make your legs look longer. Personally I don’t care.  You won’t get me in them.

But you can watch this little lesson to see how to walk in them.

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Hey I practiced with all them heels I bought but never wear. The balls of my feet hurt. I’m not into pain.

And I have to ask all the men out there if heels are so gorgeous why they don’t wear them?

My 2 cents are that the real reason men like women in high heels is so that we can’t run away from them!

Want to know how to make every man want you more – heels or not?

Become the woman that every man wants more!

What do you think about high heels?

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

How To Look Sexy – Walk in High Heels

So do you think like a zillion other women that you need bigger titties to get the man of your dreams?

I have spoken to many men on the subject of breasts – some like huge udders and yet others say a handful is enough for them.

Yet again other men say it depends on the woman her self – if she’s got a sexy personality  then any size is fine.

This is a funny and heart warming video.

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Now ladies seriously, how do you feel about the size of you know, the part in his underpants?

Some gals say size doesn’t matter. They say that if a man is a hot lover then he’ll know what to do with dicky doo, hands, tongue and what ever and make you feel good any way.

I often go into the man’s world just to see what they believe women want. They on the other hand insist that women are lying when they say size doesn’t matter, and are convinced that every woman wants a man with a huge dong.

For me personally that won’t do it. A well hung man doesn’t necessarily have sexual prowess.

What do you think?

Me I know that a sexy attitude is what does it. And that all begins by Thinking Right Now!

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

How To Seduce a Man – will loobies do it?

Hhhmmn I keep saying it – women have a lot of power over men.

Do you think it’s possible to get a Man to buy you shoes? I mean a strange man? I can get my partner to do anything for me but that doesn’t count – cause he’s my partner and we’ve been together for donkeys years.

But I tell you what I know I could get a strange man to buy me a pair of shoes if I wanted. I just refrain because well I’m loyal to my guy. He’s fab and I don’t think he would appreciate it. I know already he would be offended if I asked a stranger to buy me shoes.

Here’s a great clip to see how easy it is to get a guy to buy you shoes.

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I dare you to try it out.

Post from: How to Seduce a Man

How to Get a strange Man to Buy you Shoes